The Anatomy of a Self-Sabotaging Mind: Stories My Inner Storyteller Told Me
It was early November, 2021, and I was neck-deep in the emotional quicksand that often accompanies a significant life milestone: launching a book. As with many significant events in our lives, the occasion came with its own set of doubts and fears, narrated convincingly by my inner storyteller.
The Inner Storyteller and Its Relentless Chatter
We all have that inner voice that tries to pull us back whenever we're about to take a significant step forward. Mine was in overdrive, replete with convincing stories of inadequacy. "Who did I think I was, writing a book?" "No one is going to find it helpful." "There's nothing of value in this book." This chatter, a universal experience, can be as creative as it is devastating. I'd bet your inner storyteller is just as talented at making you doubt yourself.
True Stories or Twisted Realities?
What makes the inner storyteller particularly insidious is its ability to cite "evidence." Mine narrated stories about other authors—those who had had successful book launches and those who hadn't. On the one hand, it presented tales of established authors and celebrities whose books were runaway successes, subtly telling me that I'd never measure up to them. On the other, it pointed out those more successful than me who had tried and failed, whispering, "If they couldn't do it, how can you?"
The Danger of Undefined Terms
Here's the catch: My inner storyteller was clever enough to sound confident but cunning enough to leave terms undefined. What is a successful book launch? By whose standards? Is it by the number of copies sold, the lives touched, or the personal satisfaction derived? I had to stop and ask myself these questions, redefining what success meant to me. In my case, I wanted to help people recognize the stories they tell themselves and choose better narratives for meaningful change in their lives.
A Story That Changes the Narrative
On one particularly tough morning, I found myself in an exercise class. The instructor, who knew me from social media, told the class how my insights had helped her reframe her own inner stories and change her life. This moment was a story, an anecdote, a testimony, but most importantly, it was a powerful antidote to my own self-sabotaging inner narrative.
The Power of an Alternative Story
The lesson here is that we have the power to change the stories we tell ourselves. A single, new story can counteract a thousand old, negative ones. If your inner storyteller is showing you scenes of doom and gloom, tell it a new story. This new narrative need not be a sweeping epic of heroism; it can be a simple story of a single life touched, a day made better, or a moment of clarity.
Your Future is Yet Unwritten
If you've ever been held hostage by your inner storyteller, know this: The stories you tell yourself today don't just recount your past; they write your future. By consciously choosing which stories to tell ourselves, we can influence the outcome of our lives. Change the narrative, and you rewrite your destiny.
So the next time you hear that voice telling you who you are not, tell it who you are and who you can be. The pen is in your hands; the page is blank, and the story is yours to tell.
